Posts Tagged ‘relationships’
Wednesday, January 27th, 2010
Without a doubt the internet has revolutionized the way we search for information. Just take a few moments to think about how involved and complicated it used to be. Even just ten, twenty or thirty years ago, trying to reconnect with somebody you had lost touch with was a time consuming task involving numerous postal or personal inquiries and searches through directories and registers in different locations. The internet and the development of laptops and mobile phones has changed all that, we can now, almost without exception search for what we want, when we want and get results.
The internet is awash with search engines and social network sites that can search for names but how can you find someone on the internet without knowing their name? It sounds impossible doesn’t it? Would it surprise you to learn that there are many thousands of people the world over trying to get back in touch with someone whose name or full name they don’t know? Well, it shouldn’t, don’t we all have these people in our past? It could be somebody that you struck up a friendship with many years ago on a long journey or at a holiday resort and whose contact details you have lost. It could be somebody from a school or a sports team or theatre group whose nickname you remember. The reality is that people move on, they marry and change their names, their nicknames and pet-names change too as they grow older but this does not alter the fact that you still remember them and they still remember you.
Visit I Still Remember You. This is a network that aims to reconnect people with one another. It works differently from other search sites and tools and you can use I Still Remember You to find people without knowing all or part of their names. It’s really simple to use, all you need is a time and a place. Here’s the technical bit, it uses a chrono-geographic search tool and interactive map which will allow you to create contacts to find someone you are looking for. You’ll know too if anyone is looking for you.
There is no doubt that we remember the impact that certain people have had on our lives for the rest of our lives, but now and then the finer details get lost along the way. Finding someone without knowing their name is not as daunting a task as you might think. What are you waiting for? Visit I Still Remember You and reconnect today.
Tags: emotions, family, Find siblings, friendship, love, no name, relationships
Posted in Find friends, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Monday, January 4th, 2010
As I was typing my last blog, “Persevere”, my mind drifted to a situation that I experienced several years ago, which still has an impact on me today…
During the summers of my college years, I was a camp counselor. I was assigned to the girls with the most emotional and mental needs. Although at times I felt that the other counselors had it a lot easier than I, I was appreciative of the experience and felt better equipped as I started my first year of teaching special needs children.
Traci, a ten year old, was able to attend camp for two of my summers. The first time with Traci was challenging. She didn’t trust anyone, was always hiding and constantly had nightmares. There were several nights that I calmed Traci and reassured the other girls that she was okay. On the morning that she had to leave camp, Traci initiated a hug, which was a first.
The second summer with Traci had its challenges as well. Traci was like my shadow and I literally tripped over her a few times! She didn’t want to participate in activities, but just wanted to talk. We would go for walks and I soon learned about how messed up Traci’s life was. I tried to offer her encouragement and tried to help build her self-esteem to be honest with someone at school about the home situation.
The school year started and I didn’t give camp any further thought. It was my first year of teaching and I needed to focus on that. However, in late October, our school mail deliverer, Paula, stopped by my classroom door. She asked if I ever was a camp counselor. I thought that was an odd question, but responded, “Yes.”
Paula then pulled out a postcard and said, “I guess this belongs to you. Could you read it and decide if it’s yours?” I looked at the postcard and it read,
Dear Miss Barb.
Thank you for being my counselor and my friend. I no longer live at home. I
have a new family because of you.
I never told you, but I love you.
I hope your first year of teaching is going well.
Traci
After I read the postcard, Paul had me flip it over. It was simply addressed to: Miss Barb and just the name of my town. Apparently the postcard was delivered to our town’s post office (even though there are three towns in the US with the same name), and when they read the line about teaching, they gave it to Paula to figure out which teacher it goes to.
I still don’t know if I was more shocked to hear from Traci or by the effort of the post office to find the owner of the postcard. Every couple of years I would receive a card or letter from Traci with updates about her life. She continued to use partial addresses, but at least had the state and zip code. Traci never put her returned address on her envelopes. I then received a beautiful letter from Traci letting me know that she was graduating from high school and would be attending college. She wanted to work with special needs children as well. In that letter, Traci gave me an address. She said that she never provided one before because she was afraid that her natural parents would somehow figure out where she was. Traci did extremely well in college. She’s now married and has two adorable girls. We keep in touch at Christmas time.
Traci will forever have a special place in my heart.
Tags: encouragement, persevere, relationships
Posted in Find friends, Friend search, Readers stories, Reunion Stories | 2 Comments »
Friday, January 1st, 2010
Have you been trying to connect with someone, but feel like you keep hitting dead ends? A recent experience made me wonder how many times we only make one or two attempts to contact someone and then give up–never knowing if that third attempt would’ve worked.
I live in the Eastern part of the United States. Three weeks ago when I brought in the mail, I noticed that there was a piece of mail for someone else. It most likely was a Christmas card, given its shape and the cute snowmen stickers on it. When I studied the addresses, I was a bit puzzled. It was a card mailed from the Western part of the United States to someone located in the South-West of the United States. How did it ever end up in my mailbox? I wrote a little note on the back of the envelope, “Hope this reaches you in time for Christmas. Sorry, it took a detour to upstate New York! Barb” Then I mailed it in a nearby mailbox.
Two weeks ago, when I brought in the mail, ONCE AGAIN, the card was in my mailbox! Wondering if there was a mistake with the postal meter, I took it to the post office and asked what the meter reading was. Sure enough, it read my address on one side of the envelope and the correct address on the other side. (How my address got used, no one seems to know.) I was assured that they would get it fixed and would send the card to the rightful owner.
Two days ago when I stopped at the post office to purchase a few booklets of the “forever” stamps, the postmaster was excited to see me. She said that Lynda wanted to thank me. Lynda??? Yes, Lynda was the person who received the card. Apparently the postmaster added a note on the back of the envelope…”Sorry for the lateness of this card. Thanks to Barb it’s now in your hands.” She then signed it with, “PO (and the town’s name).” Lynda was so thankful to receive the card that she googled the town and called the post office.
When I commented to the postmaster that for just a Christmas card, there sure has been a lot of fuss over it, the postmaster got teary eyed and told me that it was a much needed card. She told me that she could tell me why or I could return Lynda’s call. Intrigued, I decided to call Lynda. I called the day after Christmas. Lynda, a woman in her mid-30s, told me that the card was from her sister April. Lynda and April had had a falling out ten years ago. Lynda sent her a card about five years ago, another one three years ago and then one at Thanksgiving time. In her cards, Lynda apologized for the falling out and begged her sister to put the past behind them. When Lynda read April’s card (and it was a Christmas card) there was a note explaining that Tom, April’s husband, never gave her the first two cards. He assumed that they were hurtful cards and didn’t want April hurt and further. However, when the third card arrived, April had brought in the mail that day and tore opened the card. She cried and cried when she realized that Lynda had been trying to make amends all these years. In April’s letter to Lynda, she too apologized and told Lynda that she loved her. She also asked if her children could meet Aunt Lynda in the new year. So excited to receive the card, Lynda decided to call April on Christmas Day. When she called, Tom broke down in tears and broke the news to Lynda that April had been hit by a drunk driver on Christmas Eve. She didn’t survive.
As I listened to Lynda share this heart-wrenching story, I broke into tears as well. And then Lynda said something so beautiful…”I know the reality of losing my sister hasn’t totally hit me yet. But, knowing that I have been given the gift of forgiveness and knowing that April loves me, will forever resonate in my heart. I’m no longer haunted with the “what if’s”. And Tom still wants me to meet my niece and nephew.”
Lynda then thanked me for writing the note on the back of the envelope and for making sure the card reached her.
Wow! I’m glad I did the right thing, but I’m so impressed with Lynda’s perseverance. She decided to make that third attempt to reach her sister and it resulted in a life-changing experience for her!!!
How about you. Is there someone whom you’ve been searching for? Don’t give up! Don’t just try once or twice. Keep trying and trying and trying until you make that contact! Utilize this site, google the person’s name, check Facebook…persevere, persevere, persevere.
Listen to your heart…
Tags: Christmas, forgiveness, persevere, relationships, sisters
Posted in Find siblings, Readers stories, Reunion Stories | 2 Comments »
Friday, December 18th, 2009
Christmas is just one week away. Are you looking forward to the reaction on someone’s face when he/she opens the gift that you put a lot of thought into? Do you reminisce about past Christmases and some of the special gifts that you’ve received? This time of year makes me think about Isabella…
Isabella, an elderly woman, was feeling somewhat down. Her husband passed away two years ago and her children lived in different states. Her best friend just went into an assistive living facility. Rather than dwelling on these things, Isabella decided to haul out one of her closets and get rid of things that have been stored for decades. She began to pull out blankets, framed pictures, old souvenirs, books and other odds and ends.
In the far corner of one of the shelves, Isabella spotted a small box. Using her cane, she inched the box toward her until she was able to safely reach it. The box was a simple cardboard one, adorned with Christmas stickers. She took the box and sat down in a chair. Lifting the cover carefully, Isabella saw the white tissue paper with cute little drawings–a Christmas tree, Santa, a stocking and an angel. She instantly knew what was wrapped inside of the tissue. It was a bell given to her by her oldest son, Roger. Isabella removed the bell from the box and began to ring it gently. As it was ringing, a note fell out. In Roger’s eight year old handwriting, the note said, “Mommy, whenever you need a hug, ring this bell.” Isabella had no recall of ever seeing the note until that moment.
As she continued to gently ring the bell, her thoughts centered around Roger. He was such a thoughtful little boy, always caring for others. As a teen, he worked hard at a gas station. Roger got married in his 30’s and raised three children. Recently retired, he and his wife have been doing a lot of volunteering.
So lost in her thoughts, at first Isabella didn’t feel the hand placed on her shoulder. Then she heard his voice, “After all these years, you’re finally ringing my bell.” Realizing that Roger was in the room, Isabella turned around. Roger gave her a long hug and asked her to go downstairs with him. Gathered in her living room, were her children, their children and grandchildren! Isabella’s feeling blue quickly faded away as she talked and laughed with her family.
How about including a personal note with some of your gifts this year? You’ll never know when and how they’ll impact someone’s life.
Listen to your heart…
Tags: Christmas, family, relationships
Posted in Readers stories, Reunion Stories, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Thursday, December 17th, 2009
It really does sadden me how many friendships are ruined by grudge holding. So much so that I may have even brushed across the subject on here before, but just the other day I heard of a friend of mine who had made friends with her sister after not speaking to her in over seven years.
That sounds like it should be a good news story and in many ways I guess it is but I cannot help thinking thinking of those seven years wasted. During that time one of the sisters gave birth to two little boys neither of whom has ever met their aunt. I wonder if whatever they fought about was really worth losing the start of a magical relationship with two nephews. Somehow I doubt it.
I heard a story not long ago that contains a moral that is a lesson for all of us.
Two friends were walking in the desert when they had a big argument. The first slapped the second across the face. Immediately the wronged friend took a stick and wrote in the sand “Today my best friend slapped my face”. The first friend was puzzled but they walked on.
They soon came across and an oasis and were so excited they recklessly jumped in. The slapped friend was not having a very good day. He could not swim. The first friend hauled him from the water and applied CPR. After some time the second friend, who had stopped breathing took a shaky breath.
As soon as the second friend recovered sufficiently he took a chisel to a rock and engraved on the rock face “ Today my friend saved my life”.
The second friend was again puzzled and asked “ Why when I do something hurtful to you do you write in sand and when I do something good, you write on rock?”
The second friend said “ When a friend does you wrong write about it in the sand and let the wind of forgiveness blow it away. When a friend does something good and kind engrave it in your heart and let no wind or storm take it from you”
Some of you may ask why? If a friend wrongs me then surely I have a right to be angry and never forget their actions? Why should I remember the good things my friends do and strive to forget the bad. I am afraid my philosophy on that is quite self serving; because you will be happier that way.
Tags: emotions, family, Find friends, Find siblings, friendship, friendships, heart, priorities, relationships
Posted in Find friends, Friend search, Readers stories | 2 Comments »
Thursday, December 17th, 2009
Christmas time. Some people look forward to this time of year with great anticipation. They plan in advance when to go shopping, when to write Christmas cards and when they’ll invite guests over. For some, Christmas is a stressful time…the boss wants you to work overtime, you haven’t even thought about shopping yet, money is tight and you’re thinking about skipping the Christmas tree this year.
If you’re feeling more on the stressful side, here are some thoughts and ideas to consider…
• minimal decorating is fine (i.e. wreath on front door, a Christmas tree, candles on the mantle)
• consider Christmas ecards in place of snail mail cards
• purchase gift cards to have on hand for those unexpected times you need a gift
• give “coupons” as a gift (i.e. movie night, free babysitting)
• keep Christmas dinner simple
• give a family gift to friends rather than individual gifts (i.e. a couple of DVDs, popcorn, soda)
• enjoy your time with family and friends–don’t fret over cleaning your house
• attend a Christmas Eve service
• make a shopping list and refrain from impulse buying
A few years ago I really had to do some self-assessing regarding Christmas. I was sending about 200 Christmas cards, bought gifts for just about everyone I knew, planned way too many get-togethers and found myself resenting Christmas. When I reflected on the true meaning of Christmas, my priorities shifted. I drastically reduced my Christmas card list, I exchange gifts with mainly family, and I don’t host get-togethers. (I host parties/cookouts throughout the year.) What a difference it has made!!!
Last year our church decided to hold a Christmas Day Community Dinner. It was one of my best Christmases ever! People were appreciative of the meal, Christmas caroling and the gifts. I played games with some of the kids who just needed to know that someone cared about them. We’re doing a dinner again this year and I expect it will be the highlight of my day.
May this week before Christmas be a positive one for you. May you truly enjoy the season.
Listen to your heart…
Tags: Christmas, family, friends, relationships
Posted in Readers stories, Uncategorized | 1 Comment »
Tuesday, December 15th, 2009
Friends Forever
I am not really an animal lover. That is not to say that I don’t like animals, just that there is only one type I truly love and that is dogs. As I sit here writing this with one of my dogs curled up on each of my feet keeping my toes warm I am struck by the fact that humans and dogs are the very best of matches. I want to share a story I once heard with you.
A man and his dog were transported to the after life at the same time and when they arrived things were very confusing, understandably. Very few people get a practice run at the after life. The man and his dog found themselves at the top of a long, winding, seemly endless road. The sun was bright in the sky and there were plenty of good smells in the air. It was a perfect day for a walk so the man and his dog set off down the road to see what they could find.
After awhile they came to a gate. behind the gate was a man in flowing, pristine white robes. Beyond the gate the man could see a lovely shaded area with a cool inviting lake. He looked at the gate keeper and said “May we enter, the day is awfully warm and my dog and I could do with a cool drink and maybe a swim in that lovely lake of yours”. The man in white beamed a huge smile and said ” You, of course, are welcome. But I afraid there are no dogs allowed in Heaven” The man with the dog was surprised to hear that this was Heaven but he was down right shocked to find out that heaven did not allow dogs. He said to the gate keeper, ” This dog has been my life long friend, he has stuck by me through thick and thin. He even died trying to save me. I will go nowhere he is not allowed.” . The gatekeeper shook his head sadly. “You are condemning yourself to a very sad eternity my friend,” he said, “nowhere in heaven accepts dogs. You will be wandering this long, hot road forever”. But the man stubbornly refused to be parted from his dog and moved off down the road.
After sometime the man and his dog came across another gate, with a kindly looking old man standing next to it. Before the man with the dog could speak the gate was thrown open and a voice that belied the gatekeeper’s small statue bellowed ” Both of you are welcome to Heaven”. The man with the dog exclaimed in surprise ”This is Heaven? The gatekeeper down the road said his place was, and it did not allow dogs”. The old man let out a chuckle “It is a very effective system we have going here. You were first greeted by the devil and told a pack of lies. I don’t mind that he gets to go first because frankly anyone who would abandon a life long friend on dusty, hot road for the promise of comforts deserves to spend the rest of eternity in the company of the devil”
The man and the dog entered Heaven together, just as it should be.
Tags: emotions, family, Find friends, friendship, friendships, heart, love, relationships
Posted in Famous friend searches, Friend search, Readers stories | 1 Comment »
Monday, December 14th, 2009
Most of you will have heard about the great and wise man who was Socrates of Ancient Greece. Thinking about what I was going to say to day I was saddened by the thought that so many good friendships are ruined by idle gossip. A lot of people think that you are only guitly of gossiping if they are actually doing the talking. In his own wise way though Socrates showed people this was not true and his attitude to gossip about a friend is represented in this story.
One day a man approached Socrates and begged an audience with him, as he had something vital to tell him. Socrates asked the man what the thing of vital importance was about and the man replied “your friend”. Socrates contemplated this answer a moment and then said to the visitor. “ I may allow you to tell me this thing but first I need you to answer some questions. The man agreed so Socrates posed his first question “ Are you certain that the thing you are about to tell me about my friend is true.” The visitor thought about it and shook his head and said “I cannot be certain as it is something I over heard”.
Socrates took in the answer and said, “I may still allow you to tell me but first two more questions. Is the thing you are about to tell me about my friend something that casts them in a good light?” The vistor shook his head vigourously this time and said “On the contrary”.
Socrates had just one more question for the visitor “ Is the information you are about to give me something that is useful?”. The man’s reply was “ No not really”. Socrates held the visitors eye and said to him “I am not interested in what you have to say. Why would I want to listen to you tell me something that is neither true, good or useful about someone I consider a friend?
I think we can all learn a lot from Socrates. It is not just the uttering of hurtful gossip that is wrong. Even listening to it can seem like an act of betrayal. If someone is talking to you about a friend of yours you could do worse that to pass what they are saying through the triple filter test that Socrates outlined in order to decide if you want to listen to any more.
Walking away from gossip that does not pass this test is an act of true friendship.
Tags: emotions, family, Find friends, Find siblings, friends, friendship, friendships, heart, holidays, love, relationships, Search for friends
Posted in Famous friend searches, Find friends, Friend search | 4 Comments »
Saturday, December 5th, 2009
Whoo ouuuu! Today is International Hug Day! So whether you’re reading this from Ireland, Canada, Australia, United States…happy hug day! Okay, I do admit that I wonder who creates all these silly holidays. I used to think Hallmark was the culprit, but I don’t think that even they could stay caught up with all the different special days! By the way, today is also “Cookie Day.”
So in the spirit of today, be sure to hug a family member and a friend. How about sending a hug ecard to a relative?
Here’s some thoughts about hugs…
• hug someone at least once a day and twice on a rainy day
• you can’t give a hug without getting one
• hug with a smile
• bedtime hugs help chase away bad dreams
• there are good hugs and great hugs
• a snuggle is a longish hug
• never hug tomorrow someone you could hug today
• hugs are free
• everyone could benefit from at least 3 hugs a day — up to 8 is even better!
• if you’re not comfortable with giving a hug, than consider “hugging” through a kind word, a touch, a thank you, a smile, a “may I help you?” or some kind gesture
.Happy hugs!
Listen to your heart…
Tags: family, friends, hugs, international, relationships
Posted in Readers stories | 1 Comment »
Thursday, December 3rd, 2009
One out of ten Americans experience clinical depression. Clinical depression is more than just feeling “blah” or feeling sad. It affects a person’s mind and body. It impacts everyday activities–sleeping, working, eating and relationships. This depression can last for weeks, months, or even years if left untreated.
For some people, the winter months tend to bring on depression. Our days are more dark than light outside. With the holidays, financial constraints might cause depression. People who are alone might be more susceptible as well.
So how about being a blessing to someone? If you’re feeling down, when you do something for someone else, it usually causes you to perk up. If you’re loving life, than share that excitement with someone who needs encouragement.
Here are some ideas to get you started…
• shovel someone’s sidewalk
• bake cookies for a neighbor
• pay for someone’s groceries who doesn’t have enough money
• purchase winter coats for a family and leave them on their doorstep
• offer a ride to someone who doesn’t have transportation
• send flowers to someone who lives alone
• donate food to a food pantry
• help out in a soup kitchen
• randomly hand out $20 bills
• hold the door open for someone
• give a compliment
Be aware of the needs around you. You’ll never know how huge of a impact a small gesture can be.
Listen to your heart…
Tags: emotions, love, relationships
Posted in Readers stories, Uncategorized | 2 Comments »
