Without a doubt the internet has revolutionized the way we search for information. Just take a few moments to think about how involved and complicated it used to be. Even just ten, twenty or thirty years ago, trying to reconnect with somebody you had lost touch with was a time consuming task involving numerous postal or personal inquiries and searches through directories and registers in different locations. The internet and the development of laptops and mobile phones has changed all that, we can now, almost without exception search for what we want, when we want and get results.
The internet is awash with search engines and social network sites that can search for names but how can you find someone on the internet without knowing their name? It sounds impossible doesn’t it? Would it surprise you to learn that there are many thousands of people the world over trying to get back in touch with someone whose name or full name they don’t know? Well, it shouldn’t, don’t we all have these people in our past? It could be somebody that you struck up a friendship with many years ago on a long journey or at a holiday resort and whose contact details you have lost. It could be somebody from a school or a sports team or theatre group whose nickname you remember. The reality is that people move on, they marry and change their names, their nicknames and pet-names change too as they grow older but this does not alter the fact that you still remember them and they still remember you.
Visit I Still Remember You. This is a network that aims to reconnect people with one another. It works differently from other search sites and tools and you can use I Still Remember You to find people without knowing all or part of their names. It’s really simple to use, all you need is a time and a place. Here’s the technical bit, it uses a chrono-geographic search tool and interactive map which will allow you to create contacts to find someone you are looking for. You’ll know too if anyone is looking for you.
There is no doubt that we remember the impact that certain people have had on our lives for the rest of our lives, but now and then the finer details get lost along the way. Finding someone without knowing their name is not as daunting a task as you might think. What are you waiting for? Visit I Still Remember You and reconnect today.
Age sometimes strikes me as a funny concept. Just this past week, a girl told me that her dad was REALLY old. When I asked how old he was, she said 32! When the cashier finished ringing up my order at a local store, he said, “Thank you Miss, have a great day.” Ahhh…I love being referred to as “Miss” rather than the usual “Mam”. Let’s face it. We’re all getting older. But what is “old”???
When you’re 3, big brother is old at 10 years old!
When you’re 10, Aunt Teresa looks old at 27.
When you’re 27, mom looks old on her 50th birthday.
When you’re 40, well, 50 doesn’t seem so old. Old is, maybe 83?
When you’re 65, the “girls” are in their 60’s and the “boys” are in their 70’s!
When you’re 80, old is a 100. Young is anyone under 80! Whatever our age, we’re not as young as we once were. Can you relate to any of these? You know you’re getting older when…
…you have selective hearing
…you don’t know whether you’re coming or going
…you tell it like it “used to be” rather than how it is or will be
…you realize you’re over the hill and you begin to pick up speed!
…all the names in your black book have MD after them
…you purposely forget the health food, thinking you need all the preservatives you can get
…you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster
…the check-out girl (from the “8 items or less” lane) volunteers to help load groceries into your car
…you remember your child’s name, just not the right one
…you realize that all those people in FL walking around in Bermuda shorts include you Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional!!! In other words, “Live your life and forget your age.”
It really does sadden me how many friendships are ruined by grudge holding. So much so that I may have even brushed across the subject on here before, but just the other day I heard of a friend of mine who had made friends with her sister after not speaking to her in over seven years.
That sounds like it should be a good news story and in many ways I guess it is but I cannot help thinking thinking of those seven years wasted. During that time one of the sisters gave birth to two little boys neither of whom has ever met their aunt. I wonder if whatever they fought about was really worth losing the start of a magical relationship with two nephews. Somehow I doubt it.
I heard a story not long ago that contains a moral that is a lesson for all of us.
Two friends were walking in the desert when they had a big argument. The first slapped the second across the face. Immediately the wronged friend took a stick and wrote in the sand “Today my best friend slapped my face”. The first friend was puzzled but they walked on.
They soon came across and an oasis and were so excited they recklessly jumped in. The slapped friend was not having a very good day. He could not swim. The first friend hauled him from the water and applied CPR. After some time the second friend, who had stopped breathing took a shaky breath.
As soon as the second friend recovered sufficiently he took a chisel to a rock and engraved on the rock face “ Today my friend saved my life”.
The second friend was again puzzled and asked “ Why when I do something hurtful to you do you write in sand and when I do something good, you write on rock?”
The second friend said “ When a friend does you wrong write about it in the sand and let the wind of forgiveness blow it away. When a friend does something good and kind engrave it in your heart and let no wind or storm take it from you”
Some of you may ask why? If a friend wrongs me then surely I have a right to be angry and never forget their actions? Why should I remember the good things my friends do and strive to forget the bad. I am afraid my philosophy on that is quite self serving; because you will be happier that way.
I am not really an animal lover. That is not to say that I don’t like animals, just that there is only one type I truly love and that is dogs. As I sit here writing this with one of my dogs curled up on each of my feet keeping my toes warm I am struck by the fact that humans and dogs are the very best of matches. I want to share a story I once heard with you.
A man and his dog were transported to the after life at the same time and when they arrived things were very confusing, understandably. Very few people get a practice run at the after life. The man and his dog found themselves at the top of a long, winding, seemly endless road. The sun was bright in the sky and there were plenty of good smells in the air. It was a perfect day for a walk so the man and his dog set off down the road to see what they could find.
After awhile they came to a gate. behind the gate was a man in flowing, pristine white robes. Beyond the gate the man could see a lovely shaded area with a cool inviting lake. He looked at the gate keeper and said “May we enter, the day is awfully warm and my dog and I could do with a cool drink and maybe a swim in that lovely lake of yours”. The man in white beamed a huge smile and said ” You, of course, are welcome. But I afraid there are no dogs allowed in Heaven” The man with the dog was surprised to hear that this was Heaven but he was down right shocked to find out that heaven did not allow dogs. He said to the gate keeper, ” This dog has been my life long friend, he has stuck by me through thick and thin. He even died trying to save me. I will go nowhere he is not allowed.” . The gatekeeper shook his head sadly. “You are condemning yourself to a very sad eternity my friend,” he said, “nowhere in heaven accepts dogs. You will be wandering this long, hot road forever”. But the man stubbornly refused to be parted from his dog and moved off down the road.
After sometime the man and his dog came across another gate, with a kindly looking old man standing next to it. Before the man with the dog could speak the gate was thrown open and a voice that belied the gatekeeper’s small statue bellowed ” Both of you are welcome to Heaven”. The man with the dog exclaimed in surprise ”This is Heaven? The gatekeeper down the road said his place was, and it did not allow dogs”. The old man let out a chuckle “It is a very effective system we have going here. You were first greeted by the devil and told a pack of lies. I don’t mind that he gets to go first because frankly anyone who would abandon a life long friend on dusty, hot road for the promise of comforts deserves to spend the rest of eternity in the company of the devil”
The man and the dog entered Heaven together, just as it should be.
Most of you will have heard about the great and wise man who was Socrates of Ancient Greece. Thinking about what I was going to say to day I was saddened by the thought that so many good friendships are ruined by idle gossip. A lot of people think that you are only guitly of gossiping if they are actually doing the talking. In his own wise way though Socrates showed people this was not true and his attitude to gossip about a friend is represented in this story.
One day a man approached Socrates and begged an audience with him, as he had something vital to tell him. Socrates asked the man what the thing of vital importance was about and the man replied “your friend”. Socrates contemplated this answer a moment and then said to the visitor. “ I may allow you to tell me this thing but first I need you to answer some questions. The man agreed so Socrates posed his first question “ Are you certain that the thing you are about to tell me about my friend is true.” The visitor thought about it and shook his head and said “I cannot be certain as it is something I over heard”.
Socrates took in the answer and said, “I may still allow you to tell me but first two more questions. Is the thing you are about to tell me about my friend something that casts them in a good light?” The vistor shook his head vigourously this time and said “On the contrary”.
Socrates had just one more question for the visitor “ Is the information you are about to give me something that is useful?”. The man’s reply was “ No not really”. Socrates held the visitors eye and said to him “I am not interested in what you have to say. Why would I want to listen to you tell me something that is neither true, good or useful about someone I consider a friend?
I think we can all learn a lot from Socrates. It is not just the uttering of hurtful gossip that is wrong. Even listening to it can seem like an act of betrayal. If someone is talking to you about a friend of yours you could do worse that to pass what they are saying through the triple filter test that Socrates outlined in order to decide if you want to listen to any more.
Walking away from gossip that does not pass this test is an act of true friendship.
One out of ten Americans experience clinical depression. Clinical depression is more than just feeling “blah” or feeling sad. It affects a person’s mind and body. It impacts everyday activities–sleeping, working, eating and relationships. This depression can last for weeks, months, or even years if left untreated. For some people, the winter months tend to bring on depression. Our days are more dark than light outside. With the holidays, financial constraints might cause depression. People who are alone might be more susceptible as well. So how about being a blessing to someone? If you’re feeling down, when you do something for someone else, it usually causes you to perk up. If you’re loving life, than share that excitement with someone who needs encouragement. Here are some ideas to get you started…
• shovel someone’s sidewalk
• bake cookies for a neighbor
• pay for someone’s groceries who doesn’t have enough money
• purchase winter coats for a family and leave them on their doorstep
• offer a ride to someone who doesn’t have transportation
• send flowers to someone who lives alone
• donate food to a food pantry
• help out in a soup kitchen
• randomly hand out $20 bills
• hold the door open for someone
• give a compliment Be aware of the needs around you. You’ll never know how huge of a impact a small gesture can be. Listen to your heart…
I just love that section from the Poo movie not to mention the song which I think Carly Simon had something to do with? Please correct me if I am wrong. I just included it here to give all my readers a little lift.
My research looking for lost friends takes me to some very interesting places and throws up some facinating ideas that people have on the subject of friends and what that word really means. I wanted today to share a few things that I have seen this week that have touched me in one way or another.
Such lovely innocence
I liked this image because it reminded me what a thing of beauty a childhood friendship is. In a way they are the easiest ones to have because the troubles and responsibilities of adult life have not yet had a chance to interfere. Perhaps that is why so few of them survive. If you have a friendship that has survived since childhood you really should cherish it.
Other times it is not the image that touches me so much as the words. People really do write some pofound stuff on this subject. For example I found this quotation on a site and I thought it was particularly fitting for our site.
Friendship is about quality not quantity; never forget that or one day you may wake up to find that you have let a diamond slip through your fingers while you were busy trying to hold on to the stones.
As sad as it it is to say I think I collected a few stones and lost a few diamonds on my travels through life and I sure do miss those diamonds. I guess in a way the analogy is flawed as you would like to think you could tell the difference between diamonds and rocks but it is not that easy with people. You have to look a little more closely and listen more to what your instincts tell you.
The point is that if you have lost a true friend, unlike the diamonds in the quote, they do not have to stay lost. You can use sites such as this and others to try to locate them and remedy your error.
Just the other day I was chatting about a friend I had not seen in many, many years and wondering what had happened to them. The very next day they contacted me on facebook. It was almost spooky, but certainly most welcome.
As a former teacher and now someone with an abundance of nephews, I am often on the lookout for teaching aids for difficult concepts. Especially abstract ones such as friendship.
While I was trawling my favourite sites I found this link to a short video another teacher had made to try and sum up what a friend actually is to her, obviously, young class. Clearly most of us are well past the age where anyone sits us down and gives us a presentation on what it means to be a good friend but I was struck by the idea that perhaps even for us ‘grown ups’ the concept could stand some revision every now and again. Have a look.
Sometimes we really do need to get back to basics to see what is really important. The first point is so true and we often forget it. A simple compliment can do wonders and a good friend knows that the time you most need one may well be the very same time you least deserve it. And they give you one anyway.
In my house it was against the rules to ‘let’ someone win at a game, that sort of winning had to be earned on its own merits but there are other ways of winning that have nothing to do with actual competition. We can all do with a ‘win’ in life sometimes and if we are being true to our friendship with someone we will recognize the opportunity to help someone achieve that. Even if it means backing down from an argument.
OK the point about remembering your birthday may seem to apply more to kids than adult relationships, though I have to admit you are in big trouble if you forget mine, but we all want to feel special sometimes. If you are a good friend you will take every opportunity to do that for the people you love even if it is not their birthday.
The most important thing this video says though, hands down the most vital aspect of friendship is that your friends are supposed to be fun to be with and make you smile. Believe it or not I actually think we forget this all too often in our friendships. Friends are about fun. Sure sometimes you have to do the tough things and point out a problem in someone’s life or tell them a hard truth, but that is not your primary role.
If you find that you are spending a huge amount of time trying to ’sort out’ your friends lives, then you are forgetting the basic premise of friendship. Making people smile and helping them enjoy life. That is the vital stuff, hopefully if we get that right everything else will eventually slide into place.
Are you single? Were you once married and you’re ready to find someone again? I’m curious, what’s important to you when you meet someone? During this past week I’ve read a number of your profiles, just wanting to get to know our members better. Like me, a good number of us are single. Single, as in never been married, divorced or widowed. Although we may be searching for someone from our past, who knows, we might meet a new friend through this site. When someone asks me what I’m looking for in a guy, five traits come to mind…1.) he believes in God, 2.) he is honest, 3.) he wants to grow old with me, 4.) he can bring a smile to my face, and 5.) his friends speak positively about him. Looks really aren’t a priority. Well okay, I would prefer someone who has a neat appearance and he must have teeth! Real or fake, it doesn’t matter, but must have teeth. Living in a small town, I feel like I see more toothless men than ones with teeth. So how about you, what are your top five traits you’re looking for in a future spouse? How about posting a comment on this blog and letting us know? I’m curious if we have vastly different traits or if one or two traits are similar for most people. When you get a chance, also check out the profiles. You never know!!! Listen to your heart…
An unexpected thanks came my way yesterday and was a day brightener! I teach academics to juvenile inmates at our county jail. I was in the jail lobby waiting to be escorted. Normally I have to wait only a few minutes, but yesterday it was an hour! The longer I was waiting, the more frustrated I felt. I watched a young gentleman enter the lobby and immediately recognized his face. Josh. I tutored Josh a few years ago when he was suspended from school. He was very vulgar, put on a tough act and constantly challenged anything I tried to teach him. In time, he mellowed out some and I actually enjoyed working with him. As a reward for getting assignments done, Josh and I would play “Five Crowns”. While we played the card game, Josh would share a little about his upbringing and the many different homes that he lived in. His suspension ended and I knew that he was headed to California for the summer. Josh nodded at me and asked if I was the lady who taught him at the community center. I nodded “yes” in response. He wanted to know why I was sitting in the jail lobby. So I told him that I’m a teacher at the jail now. He then stepped over to the receptionist’s window and inquired about getting an I.D. picture taken. While Josh was talking, an older man entered the lobby and stood in line behind him. An officer finally came out to escort me and I heard Josh holler, “Wait! Wait!” I turned and gave him a puzzled look. Josh then said, “I know I gave you a lot of grief when you taught me. I also know you were stubborn and didn’t give up on me. I have changed a lot and I’m really getting my life on track. Umm…thanks for teaching me.” The older gentleman smiled and put his arm around Josh and said, “Yes, thank you. I feel like I have my grandson back. He’s turning into a fine young man.” I told Josh that I was proud of him and that I hope he continues to go after his dreams. As the officer escorted me to the classroom, he said, “It makes it all worthwhile, doesn’t it?” And he’s right…seeing a life changed, certainly makes it all worthwhile and it even made having to wait an hour worth it. So, have you told someone thank you lately? I know I have a few people I want to contact. Listen to your heart…
