As I was sorting through the pile of stuff on my desk, I came across a small foam pumpkin. On the pumpkin were crooked eyes, a nose and a mouth. The pumpkin was given to me from Abby, a girl that I tutored four years ago.
Abby will always have a special place in my heart. At age 8 she was diagnosed with a rare illness. She was allowed to attend school on days that she felt okay; on other days she would stay home and I would go to her house and tutor for two hours. From day one, Abby had my heart. Each session I met with her, Abby greeted me with a huge smile and a hug. In spite of her intense pain, Abby wanted to learn. Abby thrived on learning new words and conquering math. Her interpretation of any history lesson was a vivid one!
When Abby turned 9, she spent less and less days at school and more days working with me. On days that she felt up to it, I had permission to take Abby for a ride. Abby lived in the country so we quite often drove on back roads. One of our favorite spots was a little wooded area that had a small space cleared out by the road. In that small space, for whatever reason, was a tiny table, a small hut and other little fixtures. When we got close to the clearing, I would drive by slowly. Abby and I would take turns making up a story about the gnome family that lived there. She then would giggle the rest of the way back to her house.
Near her tenth birthday, Abby passed away. It was a heart-breaker for her family, her relatives, her schoolmates, and for me. Even at the age of 8, Abby understood how serious her illness was and that she would probably not live to be a teenager. Rather than give up hope, Abby embraced life! Abby has taught me to…
1. Welcome each new day! Almost every day of tutoring, Abby had something positive to say about the day…the sun is shining, I don’t ache much today, we’re having spaghetti for supper, my dog loves me…Abby chose not to dwell on her illness, but rather to look at the positives in her life.
2. Laugh yourself silly! Besides our gnome stories, Abby liked to tell jokes. Sometimes she would be laughing so hard, she forgot to finish telling the joke. If her little sister was having an attitude, Abby would say something silly to her and get her laughing. Abby made me realize that there’s very little in life to be upset over and a lot to enjoy, to be giddy about.
3. Have a dream! Even though Abby knew she wouldn’t live a long life, she believed in having dreams. Abby wanted to become a doctor so that other kids wouldn’t have to endure the pain that she did. She also wanted to fly to the moon. One time when we went out for a milkshake and she talked about her dreams, she looked at me and said, “I know I won’t really become a doctor, but I have to hope to become one. If someone finds a cure for my sickness and I get to grow up, then I need to start dreaming now. If I don’t grow up, I still have the excitement of hoping to become someone.” After I dropped Abby off to her house that day, I cried all the way home. My tears weren’t for Abby’s short life, but rather admiration of her strength and wisdom.
If you’re a parent, I encourage you to do something silly with your child (regardless of his or her age) and to really listen to their hopes and dreams. If you’re single, spend time with a niece or a nephew or a friend’s child. We can learn a lot from the younger generation.
Listen to your heart…
Tags: dreams, friendship, hope, tutoring
Abby sounds like a special little girl. May she always be remembered.